By this point my husband has observed that I was born to be an adoptive mom. I love the background reading, the time scheduling, and the lists (yay, lists!). So Pam gave us a recommended reading list, which I have now finished and have whittled down for anyone else who is interested (although if you live in Boston, you may need to wait until Jim returns them to the library).
A primary theme running through these books is that although birth and adopted children are loved the same, they are not the same. The joy of an adoptive family is by necessity preceded by great loss for the adopted child, and acceptance of the child's grief about that loss by the family is very important.
So here's Reb's list of recommended reading:
"Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew" by Sherrie Eldridge;
"Communicating with the adopted child" by Miriam Komar;
and the classic in the field,
"Toddler adoption: the weaver's craft" by Mary Hopkins-Best
If you're interested in a bit more depth, "Talking with young children about adoption" by Mary Watkins and Susan Fisher also has a review of the historical research about adoptive families and some great discussions about how adoptive parents can handle difficult questions or situations with their kids.
Our next meeting with Pam is Thursday, July 6. In anticipation of that meeting we have now finished our Bethany-requested autobiographies (10 pages each). I'll check them off the list!
2 comments:
Rebekah,
You'll be a great mom but I doubt adoptive children respond to lists and time scheduling any better than other children. However, if anyone can make it work, you can.
Funny, Mom. No, I don't expect that the lists will help them so much when the kids come home, but my current habit of always leaving the house with a granola bar stashed in my purse may come in handy.
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