Managing Attention Deficit Disorder

Gus has been in attention deficit the last couple of weeks, what with the new brother and the broken dishwasher, and has been crazy as a result. So last weekend Jim and I each took him out for some special attention, and the weekend was so much better than the previous weekend as a result. Tonight was reasonable too.

Jim and Jed have been doing some extra bonding lately. Yesterday Gus and I went to a puppet show, so the other two sat on the sofa for an hour, watching football and eating pistachios and generally having a great time. Today I went into work in the morning, and although Jed did jump for joy when I returned (it was super cute), he's a lot more comfortable now with Daddy.

Jed definitely understands that he is working on a new language. Today when we left the house he pointed to the step, said "step", and looked up at me to be sure he was right. We've also been teaching him important words like "ear" and "touchdown"!

Wow, what an interesting murmur!

This quote of the week brought to you by the pediatrician, who says that Jed's heart repair must be good b/c he looks great, but she has no idea what it is from the sound. We'll all be interested in what the cardiologist says in a few weeks.

This week was better. Lots of drama from Gus at drop-off, but that's beginning to ease. Jed loves Gus's preschool and just wanders around playing while I wrangle the bear. Jim and I are starting to balance our time with the kids and to give Gus some one-on-one attention, with the result that Gus did much much better today.

This week Jed and I worked on climbing and jumping and some new words. He's learned that if he points at something I will talk about it. He pointed at a bunch of things on the way to the park (bicycle, sidewalk, fence) and then laughed and threw his arms around my legs. Mommy! He thinks the street is called "Ah-ah-ah!" because that's what I say when he tries to walk into it without me.

Today we played with water out on the deck and then blasted the Music Man with some tambourines and had a blast.

Next week I go into work for a bit to plan for the next few weeks, Jed has his appointment with the international adoption specialists, and Jim has a college fair on Friday.

One Week Home

And boy, it's been a long week. We all got over jetlag really quickly, just a few days, but it felt like milennia. And then Gus got bored (and what else is there to do at home but pick on your new brother?) so we've spent every day out at the park, and I've gotten nothing else accomplished besides unpacking, and we arrived home to a broken dishwasher so Jim's been spending a bunch of his theoretically free time doing dishes.

Sigh.

But tomorrow Gus goes back to preschool, to be challenged and run off his feet and away from his brother. Jed's first doctor's appointment is on Wednesday, and one child is so much more moveable than two, so we'll be able to run errands etc. together for part of the day. There are a lot of things he needs to see (even the farmer's market will be exciting for him. I made muffins today and he was transfixed).

Update on Jed: this child is almost too perfect. I can find no orphanage behaviors or sensory issues, and I've been testing him all week. He can pick up sand, eat yogurt, and roll down a grassy hill. He does like his fingers clean, but his face can be messy. He has no problems with sounds or lights. He is attaching extremely quickly. I'm almost looking over my shoulder...hopefully the person standing there is not the cardiologist (that appointment is in October).

Home again

Sorry for not making clear that we did arrive on schedule, were graciously picked up and delivered home, and are recovering. Jim did make it to work on Monday but on Tuesday morning the boys both woke up at 3 a.m. and so Tuesday was awful. I am not a good mom sleep-deprived. Last night Gus slept well but Jed was up at 4 a.m. Still progress. Jim is now asleep on the sofa. More once steady coherence returns.

In South Korea for the night

A short post before going to bed. We spent last night packing up our gear; our baggage has apparently been busy reproducing when we weren't around. Left this morning for Baiyun Airport for our departure from the good ol' PRC. There were 4 lines to wade through prior to boarding: checkin, security, customs, and immigration. The checkin procedure was cumbersome, because we are 5 passengers traveling under 2 reservations (one for Jed and one for the rest of us) on 2 airlines (KE and DL) with 7 checked bags through 5 airports in 4 countries (for those keeping score, our return itinerary is CAN -> ICN -> NRT -> ATL -> BOS). It took awhile, and since we're staying overnight here in Seoul, she couldn't even check us in for the second, third, or fourth legs of the trip since it was too early.

Thankfully we were at the airport with plenty of time to spare, and we eventually got to the gate and boarded. Korean Airlines is awesome! They had in-seat entertainment systems with about 100 movies to choose from. I watched The A-Team and enjoyed it very much. The flight was about 4 hours, and we deplaned and discovered that we couldn't go through the transit security checkpoint without boarding passes for our next leg, which we didn't have since we hadn't checked in yet. That proved a little confusing. We eventually found a Korean Air transfer help counter where they printed out a copy of our itinerary for us, and after that the security staff admitted that we belonged there and let us through.

Then we checked in to the Incheon Transit Hotel for the night, which is a hotel dedicated to weary travelers like us with a connecting flight 15 hours away and no desire to leave the secure zone of the airport. The rooms are small and no-frills but the beds work just fine. There's even a couple playgrounds for the kiddies to wear themselves out. Had some dinner and now we're hitting the sack.

"Tomorrow" is our last 3 legs of the trip, and then we'll be home!

Last Day in Guangzhou

Today we wore everyone out at the Chime-Long Safari Park. First we took a thoroughly uneventful subway ride with one transfer. The Guangzhou subways are amazing: air conditioned, not stuffy, bright, and reasonably fast. All of the maps are logical and the announcements for the stops are made in Mandarin, Cantonese, and English. The only trouble we had was figuring out their token system for a couple of minutes. It took about an hour each way, but the people were really nice and gave seats to whichever parent had a small and/or sleeping child. A delightful experience as subways go.

The Chime-Long complex is like Disneyworld. There's the Safari Park, which is basically a zoo, a Crocodile Park, an amusement park, a water park, an international circus, and a big swanky hotel to see it all from. We just went to the Safari Park.

We took a shuttle bus from the Metro stop and wandered our way through, seeing apes (if it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey), pelicans, etc. Jim stopped to have his picture taken with a python (mouth taped shut). I helped Gus touch the snake to learn about him a bit. Once we reached the other end, we ate a quick lunch and got in a little train to see the Safari on Wheels part (which is about half the park). It was lunchtime for most of the animals, which was good b/c it was also really hot and the ones not eating were almost all snoozing. We saw lions and tigers and bears, and also giraffes and camels and run-of-the-mill American red deer (a guy actually got out of his car, which is against the rules, to take a picture of a DEER). Lots of animals, great safari. Jed fell asleep right at the end and was installed on my chest in the mei tai.

We then wandered back through the park and found the hold-a-baby-tiger area, which I really wanted to do, but since Jed and the baby tiger were napping it seemed unfair to wake them both up so we didn't. We did go to the giraffe area, and did the coolest thing. The zookeepers sell leafy branches for 10 yuan to feed the giraffes (I used to feed crackers to the giraffes as a kid, and the branches are much healthier for them and more fun). There are around 20 giraffes in the area, and whichever is hungry wanders over to the feeding area and looks for munchies. You pull off a bit of branch and offer it to the giraffe, and they wrap that huge tongue around it and pull it in. It was so much fun. Gus loved it, and Jed woke up in time to help too (he dealt really well with the fact that he woke up to a big giraffe tongue right near his face). One giraffe got the last bit of branch that just had a couple of leaves on each end, and he rolled that stick around and got every last bit of leaf off it and then spat out the stick. Apparently a giraffe's tongue is around 0.5 meters long. What a blast. The title of the area was "Feeding Giraffes with Joy". It was true!

Then Gus really wanted to see koalas, so we saw a bunch of sleeping koalas in the koala house. They only spend around 4 hours a day awake because their food is so un-nutritious. They don't have energy for anything else. And they wedge themselves into crooks of trees that look really uncomfortable, but snooze away anyhow.

Then we went by the giant panda house and saw some pandas eating, some playing, and some asleep in more uncomfortable-looking positions (seriously, I was afraid one of them was dead because no one living would want to wake up from that position). And then it was time to head back. At one point Gus looked at me very seriously and said, "Mommy, I think I'm going to fall asleep on the way back to the hotel." And he did, through about half the Metro ride.

We got back around 4 p.m., picked up the laundry and had a snack, played for a little while in the Swan Room and then started packing. Dinner was pizza delivery and some Chinese dishes from the deli. Jed is warming to pizza. So now that you are all informed, I will finish packing. Tomorrow after breakfast we head to the airport, and arrive at Incheon in South Korea at around 4 p.m. We'll spend the night at Incheon, then start the long trip home on Sunday.

The visa has landed

Yesterday was a much better day. We had breakfast, then took the boys outside to an actual kids playground (unlike the one in Shenyang, which was an adult's playground plus a slide. We like the idea of an adult playground, just not to the exclusion of munchkin ones). We saw the playground a few days ago but it was roped off; the day before yesterday we saw kids on it, though, so off we went! Just an hour of morning climbing made such a difference for the day. The playground is in Shamian Park, and we saw around a hundred people playing hacky sack, doing tai chi, and that game that we bought in Beijing that looks like tai chi with a racquet.

Then we came back to the hotel and changed the boys into traditional Chinese dress for the obligatory "red couch" picture (now posted on flickr). They both looked great, but it's pretty clear that they'll both outgrow their outfits by Chinese New Year so we bought another one in a bigger size.

Then we spent an hour destroying the playroom and had lunch. While the boys were napping, Jim and I took a quick excursion to case the subway (how far to the Safari Park? How many transfers? Are the signs in English?). All indications were good and a nice subway attendant practiced her English on us so it looks pretty good for today. Then we walked through the QingPing market, an open air market that is what Whole Foods wishes it could be except for the pig knuckles. I have never seen so many mushrooms in one place, and no idea what most of the stuff was. It was the same principle as the Electronics City and the Wholesale Pearl Market; 100 vendors selling exactly the same thing. I don't understand it, but it works.

After nap we went to the pool for a while, where the boys have a love/hate relationship with the waterfall, and then Jim went to pick up Jed's visa (no misprints this time). Then I foisted off the other half of my tablecloth rebozo on another family and we went out to the French place for dinner with them. The boys enjoyed their food, I had some really good fish, and Jim ate the peppers that were served with his quail and instantly decided it was a mistake. They burned for almost an hour.

Bedtime was much easier, but the boys woke up with me at 6:30 this morning so we've already had one timeout, one dirty diaper, and a couple spurts of whining. Today the big plan is for the Safari Park. Tonight I will be doing some serious packing, and then tomorrow we head to Korea.

Are we there yet?

Despite all the well wishes on my Facebook page yesterday (thanks, everyone), yesterday was a rough day. The morning was fine, but we had to wake up Jed early from his nap to go to the Consulate, and Gus woke up too and never completely recovered. Bedtime was a nightmare. I want to be home again, where the schedule is predictable, my kids don't have to be on their best behavior to eat three times a day, there are apples in the fridge that I can slice to take the edge off their hunger while we're waiting for dinner, and everyone sits in chairs so that I don't get bumped while I'm eating. Frustrating day.

The Consulate visit was fine. Very anticlimactic. The staff doublechecked the passports of parents and children to make sure the right kids were there with the right parents, and then we all swore that we had not lied on our kids immigration forms. We spent most of the wait chasing Jed around the room. He is learning from his big brother that just sitting around is a waste of time!

Jed loves his new squeaky shoes. He got up yesterday, and the first thing he did was bring me his shoes. And then whined about them for an hour b/c no one was dressed yet. I thought the squeaking would be cute but annoying, but it's actually very helpful. It's like radar; I know just where he is (and he walked right into the street the other day, so that's a very good thing).

Today is a quiet day. We take the famous "red couch" picture this morning, and then this afternoon Connie will bring Jed's visa. Hopefully it's correctly printed this time. Tomorrow we're planning to go to a big safari park outside of Guangzhou, and then do the epic pack to get all of our children and souvenirs back home.

It's my birthday...

...but I still can't sleep as late as I want to. Six-fifteen, no matter how late I stay up. Woke up this morning to a very foggy day. I can barely see any boats on the river. Last night we had our first real thunderstorm, although we've had lots of misty rain before.

Yesterday morning was the visa appointment we didn't have to go to. We did, however, have to stay in the room in case Connie needed any information from us. Good days do not start with 2.5 hours of 2 wiggly boys in a hotel room. As soon as we got the all clear from Connie we took them outside to wiggle across the island on a quick walk. I was looking for a silk comforter, which are pretty much impossible to find in the States, and there is a nearby "Department Store and Electronics City" about 4 blocks off the Island. So we walked there to discover that the "Department Store" part is very outdated, and instead it's 5 floors of cell phones, USB sticks, etc. I couldn't believe that there were more electronics every set of stairs we climbed. On the way down we found the escalators.

We had lunch in the "American" restaurant. I ordered chicken congee for Jed, and he poohpoohed the entire notion, now knowing there was much more interesting food in the world. He loves potatoes, and so his lunch ended up being apple juice and French fries. Oh well. Gus polished off an entire adult-sized grilled cheese sandwich. Dad ordered chili con carne and enjoyed it, despite talking trash about it the entire time we were waiting. As much as I would like a hamburger, it just isn't the same without lettuce on that bun (and we're not supposed to eat lettuce here, too many crannies for dirty water to cling to when it gets re-washed). Sigh.

During naptime Dad and I left for a trip to the wholesale pearl market. We are seeing a big difference in shopping philosophy: in the US, a mall has a lot of stores, with very few types of stores being repeated (and therefore not much competition). In China, a mall has a lot of stores selling exactly the same thing (like big bags of pearls, or cell phone cases) and a lot of competition. The Pearl Market is a six story mall full of jewelry wholesalers, and a lot of the stores look the same. Yet they stay in business. I found the simple freshwater pearl necklace I'd been looking for, and then wandered into the amber store to see pendants as big as my fist (beautiful, but probably awfully heavy to breathe under). Then Connie took us to a pedestrian shopping area (which stands on the original commercial center of Guangzhou, proven by a glass enclosure inside the main square that shows a piece of an old and an older city gate). There was an enormous department store where I found my silk comforter.

Dad and I both noticed something creepy, though, about the department store. All of the mannequins and practically all of the models on posters were white (and most of them were blonde). It's as if the brands we see in the US don't even change marketing for China (although they must, right?). What kind of body image issues are going to come up when the girls are pushed to achieve a look that is really physically impossible for them?

We arrived back at the hotel to find the boys happily destroying the playroom, and I ran to pick up the laundry before dinner. If we lived here, Jim would never do laundry again. I picked up 5 days of laundry for 5 people, washed, pressed, and folded, for $30. Wow.

Then Connie took us to her favorite local Cantonese restaurant (which is right across the street). We'd gone as a group a couple of days ago without her and enjoyed it, but this time she ordered for us and it was fantastic. Everything was delicious, even the mushrooms, which Jim and I always hate. The tea was fabulous, and the boys were diverted by the enormous live prawns and fish waiting in tanks in the front to be chosen for dinner. There's a saying that the Cantonese eat everything with four legs except the table; I saw a box of water beetles skittering around out front too. No thank you. But dinner was excellent.

Then bed for the boys, Jim did an ice cream run for the grownups, and we chatted until we were about to fall over. Today will be a calmer day.

Happy Labor Day

We had barbecued beef for breakfast yesterday in its honor. The rest of the day was not particularly restful. I am now writing with two wiggly boys on my lap, so please excuse any typos.

Yesterday we took a group tour to Six Banyan Temple, a Buddhist Temple named by a famous calligrapher around 1500 years ago for the six beautiful trees in front of it. The temple has now been absorbed by urban Guangzhou and the trees have burned down, but the temple area is still very peaceful and the boys got to wander around and explore it a bit. We saw a procession of monks (male and female) doing their rounds.

Then we went to the Jade Market. The Chinese believe that wearing jade makes women stronger and more beautiful. Traditionally a mother will give her daughter a jade bracelet when she turns marriageable age, and often the lady will never take off that bracelet. Well, when I tried on bracelets I discovered the differing philosophies. It would be possible to get the bracelet onto my arm, but because of the positions of the bones in my hands it would hurt a lot. Perhaps not.

After lunch I took Jim out to do some shopping. We decided on a beautiful water dragon tea set, a couple of silk jackets (I am size XXL-XXXL over here), a scroll of the Great Wall for Jed's room and a simple scroll of koi for us. Sent Jim back to be there for the end of naptime and did a bit more shopping.

After nap we hit the pool, and then went shoe shopping for the boys. Much to our dismay Gus's feet have passed the size at which they make squeaky shoes. But he was outgrowing his old pair and so we got him some non-squeaky shoes anyhow. We also picked up a couple of outfits for the boys to wear on Chinese New Year.

Gotta change the baby and get ready for breakfast!

Attachment Update

For all those of you wondering how the family is getting on, it's going extremely well. Jed is attaching great. Lots of eye contact. I feed him, he feeds me, lots of smiles. He is now so used to my being there that when he needs help to climb a tall stair, he holds his hand out for mine without even looking. He still prefers me to Jim, but has no problem with Jim taking care of him or being there when he wakes up. The three guys were in the playroom yesterday and Jed was so excited when I walked in and toddled right over for a hug, but it's not that he minded being with Daddy at all.

We had our first bath a couple of days ago (another thing I can't imagine going well without Gus around), and then played in the pool yesterday. At one point Jed just tipped over face first into the pool. We hauled him right out before he breathed in any water, and the look on his face was priceless.

The boys are in general getting along well. Gus loves having an audience, and we've given him lots of extra snuggles. He does get distracted by having Jed in bed with him, though, and sometimes tries to keep Jed awake to play. Jed, who only wants to sleep, scratches him and then rolls over, while Gus freaks out. Jed can sleep through (to date) half an hour of Gus howling right next to him (we guess an orphanage is probably a good place to learn to sleep through anything). Today we're going to try putting them in separate rooms for naps, since nighttime is usually much better. The trip is starting to wear on Gus, but he takes out his frustrations on us instead of Jed, which is brilliant. What an amazing little boy, who is so ready to be back home.

I did the recon on shopping yesterday and will start some of it today. Even in the tourist trap that is Shamian Island, everything is really cheap. Shamian reminds us a lot of Antigua, where we stayed with Gus for a weekend on his family trip; it's an old European-style city that has been turned into a lovely tourist trap with lots of foreigners. My two favorite things: 1) the deli next door, where the four of us ate for under $10 yesterday, and which also has ice cream; and 2) the fact that the Chinese don't seem at all to be bothered by chaos. There's still a lot of construction on the island for the upcoming Asian/Para-Asian Games, and lots of noise and dust, but the many brides having their pictures taken in the main park still look quite serene. And am I glad that I brought capris and skirts--to date I have seen exactly one Chinese lady wearing shorts. Not that I don't stick out, but at least I stick out appropriately.

The sun came out

It's a quiet day in Guangzhou today. I had a meeting this morning with Connie to get all my paperwork ducks in a row for our visa appointment on Tuesday morning (embassy workers get Labor Day off too); no problems there. Currently naptime. There's a deli next door to the hotel that serves what are essentially kolaches, and we've started having them for lunch. We're probably going to go take a swim after nap today. Rebekah is out scouring the shops on a reconnaissance mission.

Yesterday afternoon we went out and explored Shamian Island, which is about as large as a decent-sized shopping mall. The island seems to be completely dedicated to the noble task of taking money off of adoptive parents. Everybody seems to speak English at least a little here. One particularly enterprising shopkeeper named Jordan tried to ply me with everything from scrolls to tote bags to laundry service to a cute little traditional Chinese outfit for Jed, which he'd probably outgrow in about 2 days.

There are two famous restaurants on Shamian Island, neither of them serving Chinese food. We tried one of them yesterday: the Cow and Bridge. It's a Thai restaurant, not an English pub. Word to the wise: stay away from the ostrich curry. I haven't felt quite right all day today. Tonight we have a date with the rest of the CAWLI families to go eat at the other famous place, an American food place called Lucy's. We'll try to find some real food tomorrow.

Shots!

On Friday we decamped from Shenyang and had a leisurely 4 hour flight south to Guangzhou. Emerged from the airport into the first rain we've seen here, and it was worth the wait! Torrential downpours and rush hour traffic turned our commute to the White Swan Hotel from an expected 45 minutes into 2 hours. Once here, however, the hotel was gracious enough to upgrade us to a suite, so we're living large over here. 2 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and a living room with a nice view of the Pearl River (the hotel is on an island). Slept soundly.

This morning was Jed's physical appointment. The clinic is within walking distance of the hotel, so Rebekah, Jed, and I along with our guide Connie and apparently EVERY CHILD IN THE PROVINCE went over there to get poked, prodded, and measured. They truly have it down to an science over there; despite all the kids, we were in and out in about an hour. I elected to be the bad guy, so I held him while he got his chest listened to (he has a pulse!), his ears examined (he can hear!), his height and weight measured (91 cm! 13 kg!), and 6 shots and a TB test administered (boo!). Every arm and leg got a needle or two. Jed took the shots like a champ, though. Didn't enjoy it at all, but he got over it quickly, and so far no ill effects.

Free day the rest of today and tomorrow, so we're going to go do some exploring. Later!

Headin' south

Tomorrow we hop on another China Southern flight to go to Guangzhou, our last major stop on this little adventure. We'll be there for a week. We go there because that's where the US has decided to keep their embassy. I'm sure there's a long story behind that decision, but I don't know it, and if you get right down to it I don't really care. (Man, I gotta stop writing these things right before bed.)

After the 2 days of punishing paperwork in a smoky 6th floor conference room (seriously, on a clear day the visibility is only about a quarter mile. Have you checked out the Shenyang scenery pictures? That ain't fog), the boys were about ready to jump out of their skin. So yesterday our guide Maggie took us to a local Shenyang amusement park. It was pretty dingy and run-down, like something out of Scooby Doo ("Let's find out who this ghost really is! Why, it's Old Man Murray, who runs the old amusement park on the edge of town!" "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"), but it had this crazy indoor playground that the kids just adored. We spent 3 hours in there. It was a bunch of playground equipment stretched across 3 floors, with ladders, stairs, and slides connecting them all. Two trampolines, swings, and a ball pit. It was creaky, and I would have liked to see a safety inspection certificate, but it was just what the doctor ordered. The boys just had a blast in there.

That afternoon, Rebekah and Jed went to the local children's hospital to get an official reading on Jed's oxygen saturation level, which is something we needed to know to find out if he could fly without supplementary oxygen. It was good enough to fly to Guangzhou on, and there we'll confer with the pediatrician who's traveling in our group about the rest of the journey. The test ended up costing 11 yuan, or about 2 bucks. Not bad.

Today was a free day, with nothing official planned. So we took a taxi to the Shenyang Botanical Garden, which is a ridiculously beautiful fun place. Definitely a must-see for anyone traveling to Liaoning province. I really don't know how to describe it. Lots of small gardens with brooks and pagodas, lots of public artwork, a 2o0-foot observation tower shaped like a giant lily, oh and a really nice theme park. The theme park included something they called an "amusement bridge area", which is probably the best way to describe it. Take a river, and then come up with as many absurd and challenging ways to cross that river as you can think of, and then throw them all into the river. There were rope bridges, a line of rotating barrels, a zip line, a bunch of Tarzan-style ropes to swing across on, a giant hamster ball, etc. It was truly awesome, and if I were there without any kids, I would stay there all day. Gus was really disappointed he wasn't allowed to do much.

We got Jed's Chinese passport tonight, so we're all set to go. More to come from southern China, so stay tuned.

Put down the slinkies, boys, it's time for bed

We're now 4 days into our stay in Shenyang, and all is well. We're installed in a lovely hotel called the Trader's Hotel. We're still going to bed at 8:30, but now for a different reason. Jed is all ours now. We spent 2 long mornings in a stuffy smoke-filled 6th floor office of the China Civic Affairs office, filling out paperwork along with 4 other families with similar business in Shenyang. Jed spent the first day clinging to Rebekah for dear life. He neither cried nor smiled. By now, however, he's much more free with the emotions. He spends a lot of time playing with his gege (Chinese for big brother), and I think he thinks Gus is the coolest guy on the planet. Gus is really patient with him as well. He calls Jed "my little one", which is cute.

When he's not playing, he's eating. The kid's tossing back food like you wouldn't believe. And he's not picky, either. He must be putting on 5 pounds a day.

Wow. I just fell asleep in my chair. Time for bed. More later.